Unfortunately, no matter how much we love someone and how much we give ourselves to them, there is no guarantee we are going to get the same love in return. We all choose our paths in life; whether it’s good or bad, the end result is all on us. When we part ways with someone we love, we are often left with expectations of apologies, answers to unresolved issues, and most of all closure. Some of us may get it, some not. Hearing the person that broke your heart apologize for all they have done gives you a sense of inner peace. Not hearing an apology can leave you feeling like you didn’t have any kind of closure. Every break up is different. I have parted ways with those that have helped me close that chapter of my life and those that didn’t. But what I have learned from both types of situations is to keep looking forward, realize there is more for you out there, to let go, and forgive. Not to dwell on what you didn’t do enough of when you know you were loyal and did all you could to save your relationship is another thing I have learned.
In my marriage, I know what I brought to the table, I was loyal, faithful, and gave my all. I gave family, love, support, and most of all my unconditional love. I gave all I could till I could not give anymore. Though my soon to be ex other half chose a different route, doesn’t mean that I have to. Life goes on, right? If he doesn’t want to be husband and part of a family, that is his choice. I no longer have harsh feelings about it. Sadly, he is and will miss out on so much, but that is his loss. I know that all the love I have inside my heart will be appreciated by someone one day. With no rush to get there, I have so much love all around me; family, friends, pets, and knowing my step daughter will continue to be a part of my life is more than fulfilling. The combination of all the wonderful people in my life, being able to generate income from a passion, and now seeing brighter days, I decided to forgive, let go, and close the chapter of my life that brought me so much pain. For those that personally know me, I am always making lists. I made one of all the good going for me and the bad. My list of good made the bad unimportant. I realized anger, hurt, disappointment, and heartache is just holding me back from really enjoying life like I should be. And that’s what I am going to do now…enjoy all that life has to offer me.
I recently visited a very beautiful and spiritual place which happens to be close by my beauty studio. I walked the grounds, snapped a few pictures, took in all the beauty of my surroundings, and was alone with my thoughts. I felt a sense of release. I cried. I prayed. And after all that, looking up at this beautiful sunset, I smiled. I thought to myself, I am alive. I am loved. I love hard. Being sad is not me. I need to forgive. My conscience is clear. I have to much joy in my life to hold on to resentment, heartache, and sadness. And most of all I am blessed. Life isn’t going to stop just because its changed drastically. If anything, all that I have been through has made me see how much good I have, to enjoy it all, and to keep my spirit alive. I finally got my closure and I feel so much better.
Thursday thoughts are a series to share my random thoughts with my readers so that they well get to know me a bit more. We all have a different outlook on life, feelings, emotions, and sense of humor. My Thursday thoughts series is just for fun, sharing, and to make you think of things yourself.
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