What a week it’s been; a combination of disappointing and melancholy emotions that have had me on this kick of realization on who is who in my life. Cleaning house of the aftermath of finding a cheating spouse is a feeling I wish on no one. What once was your home shared with your beloved turns into rebuilding your own personal sanctuary. Don’t get me wrong, your home feels great, peaceful, and full of great energy once you have gotten to that point. It’s the before that is awful…the hurt, the anger, the feeling cheated out of your time, love, and all you gave is probably more painful than someone literally stabbing you in the back. Luckily, I am passed that phase and rebuilding my life has gotten easier as time goes on.
Lately I have spent time with my circle of girlfriends that I am the closest too. Between the 4 of us, we have been through divorce, abandonment, being widowed, self discovery, self loss, and all the craziness that comes along with going through all of it. Though we have all gone through similar yet different life obstacles, each and every one of us can relate to the other on how we have dealt with them. From people constantly asking how your feeling, to those that act like you’re invincible, and of course those that don’t really know what you’re going through, you never know what your day and those that are in it will bring. Every day is different. Some days are good, some are great, and some are not.
After a much deserved girl’s trip, my therapeutic drive home made me think of how my friendships have changed throughout the years. The more I have been with my close group of friends, the more I realize who is real and who is not. When you have a lot to offer, have a big heart, love to help people, and are open to all walks of life, it sometimes makes you an easy target to get taken advantage of. I have always been the type to treat my friends to outings and things to make them feel special. Now that I am building two businesses on my own, I am not able to treat them as I use to. My friends have been so amazing, they have treated me to dinners, outings, and returned all the favors I have done simply because they not only remembered the things I did for them, but because that’s how much they appreciated them. Talk about good deeds bring returned when I didn’t even expect it.
This afternoon I was away from the world for a few hours and in a meeting. It was nice to have the phone off, no social media, and just enjoy simple conversation about passions you share with others. I kept my phone off all night tonight. I have gotten so much work done and feel so much better than I did earlier. After sharing years of your life with someone that sucked the life out of you and did nothing but take all they could from you, you become more cautious with new people that come into your life. Red flags are more obvious, secretive people turn you off, you start to notice those that are in your life just to take all they can from you, and those that are vague about their lives but want to know all about yours reminds you of what you were with. With who I am, what I have to give, and how passionate I am about life, I am getting better at sharing it only with those that share the same things with me.